Posted on by jenniescreativecorner

Adorned because of love…

BBC 1996

It was a black jumpsuit and I stood there staring at it as my thoughts ran away. The world around me had disappeared as I went back in time. A tear came to my eye as I thought of how that outfit was made for the person I was the year prior. In that moment I felt the dress represented everything I was not. It was elegant, special and made for a purpose. As the tear rolled down and hit my cheek I didn’t know who I was anymore. I didn’t know what purpose I was to serve that day or in the days to come. I had lost my smile and self confidence. The chaos in my head was silenced as I finally heard my mothers voice behind me. As I turned around she saw the look on my face and asked me what it was for. I quietly replied “The dress”. She knew everything that short statement meant. She knew because she had been there through everything that all my choices had brought me to.

I was out on my own. The biggest chapter of my life had begun and I was so excited about the new adventure. I left home to attend college. I knew exactly how I wanted my story to be written. With each passing day the pages of my life filled up with words that conveyed my dreams. Sketched out it was ideal, each plan was being marked off one by one. It looked exactly like the picture I had drawn when I was younger. I had good friends and I was working toward my counseling degree. I knew who I was and what I wanted and it was all attainable. Within a few short months I met someone. He was tall, dark and handsome and he sought me out. I quickly fell in love. He was everything I thought I ever wanted. The story led to our engagement but the days following the ring were much different than the ones before. The days went on but I drew further from who I was. I was being told to be a certain way and the people I associated with were no longer from the original circle of friends I was in. I felt so distant from my life while living it. I knew there was another world within mine that I knew nothing about. I looked the other way many times and hid any questions that arose within me. I kept telling myself that there couldn’t be anything wrong, I was following the path set before me. I was fulfilling the purpose I thought GOD had for me. I kept moving toward the day I would be his wife yet everyday I felt my heart trying to say something. It wasn’t long until I lost complete control. Sleeping through college did not pay off. I was put on academic probation and my parents started to see the change in me. They told me it was time to come home. I went but did not announce to anyone why I was leaving due to embarrassment. I was home several weeks when my parents received a phone call. The call came from a family friend associated with the school and they reported that my fiancé had been kicked out for the life choices he had chosen to make. There were others that were asked to leave as well. They were all from the group that I ran with. It was the world that I knew nothing about that had come to life. All the questions that I hid were answered. All the fears I had were justified. I was living a life that did not match his but no one knew that. I had left school around the same time and there were definitely rumors that I had been asked to leave for not following the rules set by the school. I had to answer hard questions asked by my parents and authorities in my life that I never thought could have been asked of me. I broke the engagement. My heart was shattered and the trust I once had in myself was gone. I had let those I loved down.

Many moments of anger, sadness and disbelief happened but never were any of those three emotions expressed from my mom to me. She displayed complete trust in me. She did not spend days questioning me.. she spent months loving me. She held me until I was ready to stand on my own. She fought for me when others hurt her with words and letters. She stood by me and she did not let me give up on my dreams. She knew I would smile again.

She bought the jumpsuit that day and she was there the day I was ready to wear it because that is the mom she has always been. I know she has days when she feels like she does not have purpose but that could not be further from the truth. Just as she was there for me many years ago she is still there for me. No matter how sick she may be she is praying for her kids and she never quits loving. She is still my biggest encourager. — I love you Momma, Happy Birthday

Written in 2016 for my mother to honor her birthday. This year on the 11th we will not celebrate with her but we will celebrate her memory for she is why we all are who we are today. Cliche maybe but in my mom’s case every word is true – we owe her for loving us the way she did. For encouraging us to be everything God made us even when the world around us could not see it. Miss her everyday!

Posted on by jenniescreativecorner · 1 Comment

Permission to Grieve…

Psalm 61: 1-2

Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer.
From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

My dad asked me if I would attend Grief Share with him, it started tonight. Today marked the 9th month anniversary of my mom’s passing. It is surreal. There are days when I can’t even fathom the reality of it. Even more days when I chose not to. My mother suffered for a decade with Pulmonary Fibrosis and Rheumatoid Arthritis. Each time we thought her fight was over she proved us and the doctors wrong, 6 years turned into 8, then 9 and 10. We were given more years than expected but over those years we mourned a little each time the disease took over another aspect of her life. We accepted the existence of the disease and what it meant for her physically but even with all that it took from her she never allowed her heart to be changed. She could not go shopping with us or out to eat at a new restaurant but she could hold our hand and tell us that we were loved until her last breath AND she did. I sat by mom mom’s bed over the last year and I told her the things I wanted her to hear. I verbally said goodbye and told her I would be ok. I told her, as we all did, that we would take care of our dad. I was preparing for the inevitable. I knew that it would happen even though my heart was in disbelief when the time came. I heard her draw her last breath, I saw them take her body from the room and I stood in the living room watching out the front window as they drove away. I physically saw her leave that house BUT in my mind she has still been there.

My son cried with overwhelming tears one night weeks after the funeral. As I embraced him he apologized for crying. I held him out from me and looked at his tear stained face and told him there was no reason to be sorry. I told him that it was a blessing that he was crying so intensely because those tears stood for the love that he knew. I explained what an honor it was to be loved so much by someone that you mourn so deeply.

I told my son that but I never wept. I shed a few tears when they took her from the house for I knew I would never be hugged by her again or hear her call my name when she thought I was being too loud. I would never hear her say I love you again….in that moment I shed a few tears.

Time was passing and my emotions remained the same. If I thought deep enough about the moment standing in the living room I could be brought to tears. So I didn’t. I didn’t want to feel that pain, the pain that I knew would hurt so bad if I let it in. I suppressed the pain. Instead of putting myself in the living room I stopped my thoughts short of the vision of her resting in her bed. I put her in the place I had seen her for the last year of her life. I would only go to that room in my mind, I would only let myself see her for what was, not what it is.

My grandpa, my mom’s dad, was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung/liver cancer just a couple weeks ago. When I heard the news I had no where to go…that is when it hit me and the damage I have been doing to myself. She was not in the corner of her bedroom, she was not a minute away, she was not going to be able to console me with this news. I broke. I was back in the living room again watching her be taken away for the last time. I didn’t try to stop it … I couldn’t if I tried. This was reality and GRIEF was a part of it whether I acknowledged it or not.

Permission to grieve was granted…Matthew 5:4 -Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted. If we don’t mourn than how shall we find comfort. If we don’t cry out to our Heavenly Father in brokenness than how can HE make us whole. HE designed me perfectly and with that design HE created tears, He created a heart to feel and HE created the ability to ask for strength in my weakness. HE created me to come to HIM!

Lord, help me in my loss, guide me with my questions, take away my anger and heal my broken heart. I will shed tears for her and more for grandpa but Lord use me as an example to others – let them see my vulnerability as a strength and most importantly let them see you through me.

Posted on by jenniescreativecorner

Keys….

Keys I have lost….

To my grandparents:

Through out all the years you have known me keys have been a huge topic of discussion. How I locked them in my car, how I forgot them in the house or how I simply lost them. With all these stories the one of the key that I have held closest to me and never lost has never been told.

The key that opens my heart into yours. From the day I was born you opened your heart to mine. You never closed the door and most definitely never locked it. You gave me the key to your love and I have stored it in the safest of places for 42 years. My heart holds the key. This key is greater than all the ones I have ever had possession of. It gave me you. It opened the door to many years of love and laughter. It gave me a safe room to hide in and it gave me shelter from all the unknown. With your love I have been able to face life at it’s most and know that someone was always behind me. This key opened every corner of your heart and released love to every corner of mine.

One day in Glory I know I will be greeted by my loved ones that have gone before and I will hear a resounding “Come in for no key is needed” and with a smile and love we will embrace again.

Thank you for giving me the key to your heart and for teaching me of Christ Love so that one day I can enter the Kingdom of Heaven without having to stop and look for a key to the Pearly Gates. We all know if I had to I might not get to enter (HAHAHA).

I love you with all my heart – Your granddaughter

Posted on by jenniescreativecorner

Gift Boxes – Crafting

Decorative Box made with stuff around the house.

I was invited to a baby shower and of course I wanted to go… I love babies!! I was hesitant at first because we have really been trying to stay within a certain means on our budget. With our girl going to college next year and all the extra’s that the Senior Year includes I just wasn’t sure I should. THEN I found out it was a girl….of course I could make that work. I had all the supplies I needed at home to make the perfect gift for the new princess entering the world. I got busy with the outfit and the headbands. Once I had that completed I began to think about how to deliver the gift. I had bags I could put it in but the presentation would not be exactly what I wanted. After making the gift and not spending a penny I definitely did not want to go out and buy something to put it in. I searched the house. I found a box that I had some miscellaneous stuff in so I put it in the back of my mind. It had a logo on the front so it was not my first choice.

I looked some more….

I kept coming back to that box. It was the perfect size and actually a very nice sturdy box….the box it was! Now I just needed to make it look like a baby gift box. I remembered the babies name was on the invitation, maybe I could do something with the initials I thought. I looked for possibilities. I came across paper and stickers.

Supplies from the closet…

I had an idea. I cut out a heart from the scrap booking paper I had and then adorned it with some stickers to make the babies initials. Then of course I needed a bit of flare… I checked my craft drawer and found the flowers I typically use for headbands. I placed it in the corner of the heart and added a tag to show who the gift was from.

Baby Gift Worthy

I spent zero dollars on this gift but it looks like I spent a couple at least. I am finding that you can achieve a lot if you have the right mind set. You can cut corners and still enjoy those special events. Maybe you don’t have craft supplies laying around or the knack for making baby gifts but this philosophy has helped me in so many different areas.

It is freeing to see what you have and only buy what you need.

I hope you can find the same peace of mind in some of your daily activities this week.

Happy Crafting!!!

Posted on by jenniescreativecorner

Valentine Duo – crafts

Siblings

This week we are keeping with the Valentine Theme and are still using those scraps we have around the house. When you think of Valentines Day you think of love, you think of friendship and often you think of dressing up for that special date. It could be a father daughter dance, a mom and son night out or just two little sweeties staying in. No matter what the event these two definitely make the cutest pair. They fill my heart with great joy and my home with laughter. I am so excited that they were allowed to be a part of my blog this week.

Our little princess is styling the fabric skirt with matching top and headband. It is easy to make and lots of fun for them to wear. When I asked her if she wanted to play dress up she couldn’t get changed fast enough. She is a natural for the camera!! Collin had a lot fun with this photo session.

Very Loved!

To start this project you will gather matching fabric and cut the yards into equal strips. Depending on the age of the child you will cut the length that is appropriate for their height.

Cut strips of fabric..

Next I find this trick is very helpful. I use my sons waste basket to hold the waistband in place. This will allow you to work faster and see how much more fabric is needed as you go. The more fabric the fuller the skirt. I take a strip of fabric and fold it in half and make a loop by the waist band and pull it through – this will leave you with two pieces hanging down of equal length and gives you more fullness to the skirt. I don’t sew the waistband. I simply tie it off so that you can adjust or add more pieces of fabric as she grows.

Use a standing round object to help hold the waistband in place.

Next comes the shirt. If you use an iron on this will take less than 5 minutes. If you purchase a sew on applique like I did and don’t realize it until after you have tried to iron it on then the project will take you a bit longer but it is still manageable. Take it off the ironing board because it will not adhere no matter how long you leave the iron on it (lol) and get out your needle and thread. Make small stitches and keep them nice and neat so you don’t have a lot of extra thread underneath to bother their skin if it rubs.

Then the headband. You can purchase material made for headbands at Hobby Lobby. If you use this it is as simple as measuring your length for their head size and then turn it inside out and sew. The decorative bow is just a piece of the scrap material and it is sewn together with the patterned side facing each other. Once you sew it together turn it right side out and fold in half and cut the ends at an angle to match each other. Then tie it to where it covers your seam in the headband. Don’t pull it to tight because it will pucker the headband and leave an impression in the child’s forehead if your knot is too defined. Make sure the headband is small enough to stay in place but not too tight to where it is uncomfortable for them….at this age Beauty is NOT Pain as the saying goes.

  • Finished Piece





Your Sweet Valentine is ready for her Big day out! Daddy she is waiting to dance the night away.

Reading her Valentine.

Next comes our little guy. Not adorned as much but definitely as adorable. This boy melts my heart with his smile!!!

Did you say Black Tie?

This one is an iron on but I made it special for him to match his sister’s outfit.

I chose a plain black iron on material as my base. Then I googled….yes I admit it….I googled how to draw a tie. I drew it onto a piece of paper to use as a pattern and now I have that pattern all ready for the next tie shirt I make. Then use the pattern and cut out the iron on. Position it on the shirt, heat your iron and press it on. Make sure to turn it inside out and heat the back so that it is truly stuck in place. You won’t want to wash this for 48 hours if you can wait. It will allow it to set.

*** I saved the paper left over from the tie pattern and will be using it in a craft for next week. Nothing goes to waste when a use can be found for it!

Happy Valentines Day from these two….we love that you joined us tonight! If you think they are cute go ahead and hit that like button. See ya next week!

Candy and Fun!

Happy Crafting!!!!

Posted on by jenniescreativecorner

Over Coffee…

The lights danced in the cool breeze…

The lights danced outside in the cool breeze and the leaves rustled at the heel of her tall brown boots as she entered the coffee shop. She found a corner table by the fireplace and sat down. She was calmed by the crackling of the embers as she waited. She felt beautiful sitting against the rustic brick wall. Her brunette hair shinned against the mocha cashmere sweater that she had paired with an ivory scarf that draped her neck. Her makeup was perfect, her eyes shimmered in anticipation. She didn’t want to appear eager so she casually read a few pages of her book – “Sophie’s Heart”.

He would be there soon she thought. They agreed to meet at 8:00 pm.

With the more time that passed she began to wonder if he was coming. She decided to go ahead and order a coffee to help occupy her thoughts. As she sipped on her Caramel Macchiatto and pretended to still be interested in her book she twirled her necklace in unconscious anxiousness.

An hour later she was still sitting alone.

She began to look around the room realizing that she had been stood up. As she contemplated leaving she was drawn to the song that was playing in the background – “Dance With Me”. She listened to every word as she scanned the room. She saw relationships of all kinds, new ones to those who appeared to have been together forever. She took it all in and wondered why she was sitting alone. In an instant all the confidence she had entering the coffee shop became insecurities as she walked back under the same lights. She no longer felt like twirling in the moonlight but instead crying into her pillow. She questioned everything about herself. She wondered if maybe she would have worn something different or if her hair was a different color would she have sat alone. Her mind filled with negativity and regret. What was she missing she wondered as she went back to her apartment. She checked her machine to see if there was a call but her voicemail was empty. She went to bed with so many unanswered questions.

The next day she carried this with her. She lacked confidence in her daily routine. Everything that could happen she felt did. The negativity built a small layer one at a time until she felt overwhelmed with the things she perceived as wrong in her life. She went home every night feeling more alone than ever. The clothes she used to find joy in were now merely coverings that she had to wear. She stopped reading and enjoying music. She was literally crushed by the weight of not being loved by one she did not even know. She blamed herself instead of realizing he was the reason she sat alone, HIM and HIM alone. It was easier to nit pick at herself than blame someone she couldn’t confront.

I’m not the girl in the coffee shop but I am much like her in many ways.

I am learning as I try to cope with loss that I have had this same approach for many years. I have built layers of things that I suppress. Everything negative that I have not made peace with holds a small corner of my heart. It is always there and arises each time I try to tuck the next bad thing away. It’s like the closets and garages in our homes…we throw things in there that don’t have a place or things that go unfinished that we meant to fix. The living spaces are nice and organized but when you open those doors you will find all the things that have been disregarded. You don’t remember they are there until you have to go looking for something you know you once had.

When I pushed the pain of my Mom’s passing down as far as I could I was surprised to find that it could not be suppressed – there were too many things already in its way. Instead the opposite happened. I pushed the pain so far that it forced all the other layers to surface. I found myself crying one night over a billion different things. I was so overwhelmed with all the negativity in my life that I could not begin to get a grasp on my current grief.

We have to acknowledge pain, we have to accept failure and most importantly we have to open the doors to the things we have closed. We have to free ourselves from our own burdens. We have to take control of all the corners of our lives. We have to search our souls and see what is inside and we have to face it. We have to call on God and ask HIM to take the things we have disregarded but merely shut the door on instead of giving to HIM.

I have often found myself not crying or screaming as I wanted because I felt guilty for my pain when I know others have suffered greater losses. I would whisper my grief for I didn’t want anyone to think I questioned God. I am learning that my pain is worth acknowledging and that God is ok if I approach him with my questions. I am learning that when I do HE provides me peace in the answers.

I pray that none of us will be like the girl in the coffee shop. I pray that we will find our worth in our Lord and Savior and that we will call on HIM before we bury the burdens into our soul. I pray that we will open every door, drawer and garage to our lives and allow HIM to remove each layer one at a time. With the layers of quilt, fear, failure, and grief acknowledged there will be room for love, hope and strength. We will be able to have a complete understanding of our experiences and therefore be able to help others in their trials.

Allow God into the corners of your life today.

Posted on by jenniescreativecorner

Tick Tock O’Clock

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Tick Tock O’Clock

All day I sit and watch you play

With each and every minute that fades away

But now I’d like you to stop

To take a close look at me the clock

Tick Tock Tick Tock

There are many, many details within my frame

But first let me begin with my name

So call me “Tickers” and we’ll be friends, you and me

Tick Tock Tick Tock

I have a face, hands and many numbers that make up me

These features I’ve mentioned will help you tell time just wait and see

Hours, Minutes and Seconds galore

Just keep on reading and you’ll learn much, much more

Tick Tock Tick Tock

I will remind you of your favorite times of the day

Whenever it’s time to eat or even go out and play

Sometimes the hours will be long and feel like time has stopped

But don’t worry even when you rest I’ll be here, your friend the clock

Tick Tock Tick Tock

I am out of time so before I say good-bye

Will you count with me all the numbers that you see

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Posted on by jenniescreativecorner

All in His Plan..

Fulfilling a Master Plan

I was going through some old papers and came across this letter I wrote for my grandparents 60th Wedding Anniversary. The picture featured is from their 70th Wedding Anniversary and they are still loving each other day in and day out. So thankful for them!!

_________________________________________________

Today we take a moment to recall one of the most memorable days in two peoples lives. May 1, 1947 would mark the first day in this couples journey together. A journey that they have taken faithfully as one for 60 years. We honor their commitment to each other, we celebrate their love and we stand amazed at their quest to fulfill God’s Greater Plan. In that minute when they said I do they had no idea that God already had a Master Plan for their lives. Young and full of love for each other they said for better or for worse. Today we know they meant for better. Several years into their young family they committed to a life of service and surrendered to the Lord. Never faltering they have given their lives completely. They have set a standard for five generations to follow. Now as I look at my two young children I know they have helped prepare me for the journey ahead.

Lloyd and Velma Stearns you have been called; parents, grandparents, great grandparents and loving friends. You have taught many people how to love, how to trust and simply how to be there when needed. Today we give back to you. We say thank you for giving us an example to follow. Thank you for being steady even when the journey wasn’t easy. Thank you for completing HIS Plan!

______________________________________________

As time passes these words still hold true. I can not begin to express the love I have for these two and what an example they have been for my life. I never count short the love I have been accustomed to and realize it all began with these two!

Grandma and Grandpa thank you for loving my Mom the way you did and for raising her in the love and admiration of the Lord! Oh what a different life I could have lived if it weren’t for your decision that day the preacher knocked on your door. Thank you for opening your heart that day.

Posted on by jenniescreativecorner

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies with Buttermilk

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies w/ buttermilk

I know…I know Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies don’t seem very special or a cookie worth researching and making for a blog but today they are exactly what I needed. It has been a long week where my mind and heart have tried to unite over so very unfamiliar territory. I needed familiar, I needed a cookie that could give me new and old at the same time.

I also needed a cookie that would use up the buttermilk that has been in my fridge since the last baking blog.

I needed reminded of the love in an old classic. This week my grandpa was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung/liver cancer… He is 92. This is very difficult especially finding this out after the loss of my mom less than 9 months ago. It is her dad. When I saw the ingredients of this cookie included buttermilk I instantly thought of him…he loves buttermilk with his meals. My grandpa is a classic in all ways – his love is genuine, his laughter is contagious and his testimony for HIS LORD and Savior is unwavering.

Tonight I dedicate this to you Grandpa!

Great Grandpa

This cookie definitely found me at home in the kitchen. It had all the ingredients I am used to and the directions were as basic as they come with the exception of the BUTTERMILK. I found it very easy to work with though and in all honestly I thought it made mixing the dough easier. They were a huge hit with my family and my cousins kids that were here for the night. This recipe makes a soft cookie and about 3 dozen at that.

Side Note: I don’t use a mixer. I have always and will always mix every thing by hand just as my mom did.

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup butter
  • 3/4 cup light brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/4 cup buttermilk
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 2 cups flour
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 3 cups rolled oats
  • 12 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips
Mix the baking soda and the buttermilk together and set aside until the end.

Directions:

  • Bake at 350 degrees for 12 – 15 minutes
  • Mix all dry ingredients, except the baking soda in a bowl
  • Mix the butter, brown sugar, white sugar and eggs in a bowl
  • Add vanilla and chocolate chips to the creamed mixture
  • Mix the baking soda and the buttermilk together
  • Mix your dry ingredients with your creamed ingredients alternating it with the buttermilk mixture. Add just a little buttermilk at a time until the the dough is fully mixed.

Thank you again for joining me tonight – Happy Baking!

Posted on by jenniescreativecorner

Cleaning and Crafting

Old scraps turned purposeful.

I have been going through all my closets and drawers and reorganizing everything. I have thrown out old papers that I’m not sure why I kept for so long but I have a hard time throwing out or giving away anything that could be used. A huge part of my organizing has taken place with all the craft supplies I have accumulated over the years. I am finally getting it all put together in one closet…this will have to do until I have an extra room to turn into a craft room. If my calculation is right I will have that in about 4 years when my son graduates… well, maybe lol.

In my organizing I came across a lot of material scraps. There were many colors and sizes of materials to choose from. Some you might would look at and think were too small to be of use. WRONG…you can use just about anything with a good imagination OR a trip to Pinterest.

For tonight’s projects I chose the fabrics that reminded me of Valentines Day so to keep with our theme for the month.

Just a pile of scraps…

I then took each piece and tried to match it with those that were similar in color and size. Once categorized and seeing what we had on hand I decided to make a Valentines Day pillow and a changing pad cover for the tiniest loves in our lives.

The beginnings of something new…

I cut each piece to fit together and then laid them out to decide on the pattern.

Ready to sew..

The next step is always the trickiest for me. If you are using more than two pieces of material to patch a blanket/cover then you have to be careful to get them all turned the same way. Always place your material face down on top of the other piece with the patterned sides touching. DON’T worry if you get it backwards that is what the seam ripper is for…believe me I have invested in two of them just to make sure I always have one on hand. Mistakes can be altered..I have a lot of practice with that!

Now the face of the cover is done..

Once you have all pieces sewn together you will want to iron it. This will help eliminate any buckles in the finished project. It will also make sewing the straight lines easier.

Keeping it straight and presentable..

Now the backing needs to be added. For the most part I don’t use pins to hold my material because I find it more of a process than necessary but for this project and for blankets I do. The fabric I chose for the backing is a grey t-shirt material and it tends to roll even after ironed so the pins keep it in place.

Pin the fabrics in place..


Once you have those sewn together with a small opening you are ready to view your finished project. Turn the materials right side out and see what you have accomplished.

Ready for our tiniest Valentine!

Reverse Side.

With this in your little ones diaper bag you will never have to lay them on a dirty changing table again. Lay them down with peace of mind that they are free from the germs of the public. Take it home and wash it and it’s ready for your next adventure out.

Valentines Day Pillow

Using much of the same method I made this decorative pillow out of the other scraps I set aside. It is perfect for adding a little Valentine fun in your home.

Thanks again for joining us – today we celebrate one month of blogging! The picture credits as always go to my son!